


Some Princess Plot

by Kereea



Series: ASL In Red [25]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, F/M, Flashbacks, Friendship, M/M, Plotting, oh so much plotting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 06:19:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14158659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kereea/pseuds/Kereea
Summary: Because the group just seems to keep getting delayed on the way to Wano, now the Straw Hats and Hearts have bumped into an old friend of Ace, Sabo, and Luffy’s: Charlotte Pudding, daughter of the Empress Big Mom. But Pudding has some plans of her own for Wano and beyond…





	Some Princess Plot

 Recruiting Drake had ended up being a good idea in a practical sense, not that Law would ever say it out loud. In addition to the small medley of ships seized from Jack’s crew—though the flagship ended up too much on the tricky side to use for anything other than materials due to being sized for giants—Drake still had his original ship and like the former marine ship it was, it had a lot of room and was in excellent shape. Perfect for Drake’s crew and the Minks to share space on, in addition to giving Penguin and Sanji more cooking room (Drake’s cooks hurriedly falling in line behind Sanji, apparently it was a master-chef thing).

 Plus, the deck was perfect for lounging and reading.

“You have your own ship,” Drake said.

 “Mm,” Law agreed, turning the page from where he leaned against Bepo.

 “As does the other doctor,” Drake said.

 “Yep,” Chopper agreed, laying on his stomach with his book propped against Law’s legs.

 “Law,” Drake said tightly.

 “Do you actually have a question? I’m trying to improve my ability to administer quick blood transfusions here and you’re really distracting,” Law said, bored.

 “Why are you on my ship?!?” Drake yelled.

.o.o.o.

 Ace laughed as he heard Drake yelling, “It’s great to see Law going after someone else for once.”

 “Or he just thinks you’re boring now,” Sabo said.

 “What?” Ace yelped, making Marco laugh at him. “Oh, come on Marco, that is not it!”

 “Maybe he got bored since you’ve been hanging out with Marco since he got here and Law has other shit to do than wait for you to be around to pester?” Koala asked. “I mean, Luffy’s busy with the new people too so Law’s probably a little bored.”

 “Eh, that or Drake’s big deck is just good for reading in the sun,” Sabo said, glancing down from the Whitebeard’s ship to Drake’s. “Sunny’s kind of crowded, Scalpel’s underwater, and Law doesn’t know anyone over here or on the Minks’ ships.”

 “And Drake is kind of funny,” Koala added as Drake continued arguing with a totally-calm Law. “Plus, Law probably knows all his buttons from Law’s Marine-custody days.”

  “Surprised Law’s not making us all make plans and stuff,” Ace muttered. “Or did Lu recruiting Drake make him give up on plans forever?”

 “Nah, we’re just weeks away from Wano,” Koala said. “The people who want to talk plans do, and we’ll tell everyone else about them when we get closer.”

 “Yeah, Robin’s been good for some interesting ideas, yoi,” Marco said. “Still no real clue on killing Kaido, mind you, but plans for a lot of other things and Law’s working on the killing. There’s a surprising amount of options that have already been tried and failed.”

 Marco frowned, “I admit, Law’s a little…too into it at times but it _is_ Law.”

 “Creepy but useful, that’s what I call him!” Izo joked as he passed.

 “Hey guys!” Usopp called down from the crow’s nest. “Incoming ship!”

  The crews started to rouse to action—some more than others, Law continued reading and annoying Drake—as Marco pulled out a spyglass.

 “…Shit,” Marco hissed. “That’s one of Big Mom’s! Damn it, we-”

 “Oh hey, it’s Pudding!” Ace said, peering through the spyglass and waving. “Hey! Hey Pudding! It’s us, you’d better not shoot!”

 “What?” Marco asked. “…Also she probably can’t hear you. And WHAT?”

 “What?” Ace asked back as a woman leaned off the small ship and waved a little white flag. “See, no shooting.”

 “Wait…the Pudding you said you knew as kids…” Koala said, staring at Sabo wide-eyed.

 “Yeah, her. With the pigtails,” Sabo said, miming two spiraling pigtails flowing downward.

 “…Big Mom’s daughter?” Marco asked. “You _could_ have brought this up sooner!”

 “I _said_ we got along with some of her crew,” Ace said.

 “HI PUDDING!”

 “Uh-oh,” Ace and Sabo said simultaneously as Luffy launched himself at Pudding’s ship.

 “…No way he makes it,” Sabo groaned.

 Sure enough, Luffy fell a little short and the woman shrieked in shock and jumped off to get him as he hit the water.

 “Do I know my brother or what?” Sabo asked no one in particular.

.o.o.o.

 After Jinbe had fished Luffy and Pudding out of the water—Pudding could swim, but keeping Luffy on the surface was hard when they were roughly the same size and he was dead weight—everyone reconvened on Drake’s deck, as the largest available.

 “It’s been forever!” Sabo laughed.

 “That’s what happens when you run off and decide to be your own crew, dummy,” Pudding said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t worry, Pekoms kept me up to date, right buddy?”

 “R-right, Miss Pudding,” Pekoms said quickly before returning to a chat with some other minks.

 Their ship had been mostly empty, with only Pudding, Pekoms, and Pudding’s siblings Pan and Oven aboard. And a weird jelly creature that Law and Chopper both looked like they wanted to study.

 Marco was a little suspicious. Pekoms had a decent record and reason to be the one to meet up with the Minks, and if Pudding knew Ace, Sabo, and Luffy then there was reason for her, but he didn’t know much about Oven or Pan beyond Oven’s ability to heat things, an ability Marco considered easily outclassed by Ace’s fire.

 Pan and Oven were a little more hesitant to say hi, while Pekoms and Pudding seemed more than happy to, the jelly coming along with Pudding.

 “So, what are you doing here, then?” Sabo asked.

 “Mama wants to know how your thing with Kaido goes. Probably want to see if I can get a look at his Poneglyph in the chaos too,” Pudding said, shrugging. “What can you do, huh?”

 “Tell her walking into a warzone sounds like a bad idea?” Ace asked.

 “Do you just develop sense only in regards to other people?” Marco asked Ace. Ace glared at him, but Pudding tittered.

 “I think I could manage. I’ve been staying in Totto Land for a while, so I’m good at waltzing through chaos,” Pudding said, twirling one of her pigtails sweetly. “But I thought I’d give you all the head’s up anyway. Pan thought it was silly but frankly I think we’ve got a better shot at getting the Poneglyph if we go together. After all, if Kaido or his guys think they’re losing, they might try and break it or whatever. Plus, this way we don’t panic and end up shooting each other or something!”

 “Good point,” Sabo said. “Better to warn us beforehand.”

 “Exactly,” Pudding said.

 “So… _how_ did you meet, again?” Koala asked.

 “Oh, we were kids,” Ace said.

.o.o.o.

  _Ace, Sabo, and Luffy barreled along the beach. Shanks and Benn had told them to stay close to shore, since one of Big Mom’s crews was around and they wanted the boys in an easily-found location if things went iffy or whatever._

_“I want to hunt crabs! Lots of them!” Luffy said, waving a pointed stick like a spear._

_“That sounds good…” Ace mused. “But sticks are lousy for crabs, we need a net…”_

_“We could tear up our shirts and coats and make one!” Luffy said._

_“Benn would kill us,” Sabo muttered, shaking his head. “I know, we can use the dune grass!”_

_“Awesome! Dune grass!” Luffy yelled, running towards the dune. He yelped when he got up there, “Ah! Girl!”_

_Ace groaned and smacked his forehead as he and Sabo caught up, “Dummy, we thought you were in trouble!”_

_“I’m not, but maybe she is?” Luffy said as the girl hurriedly wiped at her eyes and backed up. “Hi! I’m Monkey D. Luffy and I’m gonna be—mmph!”_

_“I’m Sabo, that’s Ace,” Sabo said as Ace clamped his hands over Luffy’s mouth. “Are you okay?”_

_The girl eyed them suspiciously, “Fine.”_

_“But you were crying?” Luffy asked as he managed to wiggle a bit away from Ace. Ace tacked him to the ground and they started to wrestle._

_“Guys!” Sabo groaned. “Urgh. Brothers.”_

_Luffy managed to shoot a leg out just enough to trip Sabo into falling into the girl._

_“Tell me about it,” the girl muttered._

_“You have dumb brothers too?” Sabo asked._

_“HEY!” Ace and Luffy yelled._

_“Yeah,” the girl said. “I’m Pudding. And I wasn’t crying. The sand…bugs my eyes. Is all.”_

_“Oops. Guess we shouldn’t have kicked some up then, huh?” Ace asked._

_“Um…yeah. But it’s fine. So what are you doing out here?” Pudding asked, pulling her bangs down._

_“Hunting crabs,” Sabo said._

_“You want to help? You can eat some of them, too!” Luffy said brightly._

_“Um, I think I should get back to my crew…” Pudding said before the breeze blew her bangs up, exposing a third eye._

_“Cool! You have three eyes!” Luffy said._

_Sabo frowned, “You know, it might not be the sand. Your bangs might be poking that, the length they’re at.”_

_“They…kind of do,” Pudding admitted._

_“Well then we should tie them up or back or something,” Ace said, untying one of his rope bracelets. “Here, this could work for a little while.”_

_“No!” Pudding said quickly. “I, uh…I kind of treat having three eyes as a secret. My dad was from a secret tribe with three eyes, and it’s a secret-secret!”_

_“Oh…” Luffy said. “…I guess an eyepatch wouldn’t keep it a secret…wait! The thing! The thing Shanks thought was a necklace! Would that work?”_

_“Shanks?” Pudding asked nervously as Ace and Sabo thought._

_“Yeah, we could get Benn to give us the forehead-tiara-thing!” Sabo said. “That could work!”_

_“Come on, we have an idea!” Ace said, offering Pudding his hand._

_“…O…okay,” she said, smiling and going with them._

.o.o.o.

 “And that’s where I got this,” Pudding said, tapping her diadem. “I had to make it bigger when I grew up, of course, but it still works!”

 “Looks like you replaced the stone too,” Sabo said.

 “Oh, yeah, Cracker broke the hematite I had,” Pudding said, sighing hugely. “ _Brothers_. But this is mirrored, so I can actually see through it!”

 “Cool!” Luffy said.

 “You just…gave her a diadem?” Nami asked, wide-eyed.

 “Well yeah, what were we going to do with it?” Luffy asked, picking at his ear.

 “I guess Benn probably could have pawned it with the rest of the haul for supplies and shit but come on, it was _one_ tiara thingy,” Ace said, shrugging.

 “Nami says it’s a _diadem_ -thingy,” Luffy loudly whispered to Ace.

 “And then Pudding helped us catch crabs and we helped her show the tiara off to her sisters and found out who her sisters were and Benn about had a heart attack since he was the one to walk her back with us,” Sabo said. “Ran into each other a few more times after that.”

 “Well, yeah, since we got along Mama thought it best if I was on crews likely to bump into you,” Pudding said, twirling a pigtail. “Just sense, really.”

 “Benn did feel it smoothed relations a bit. Unless we broke things,” Sabo said. “By we, I mean the crew in general. Lu, Ace, and I weren’t the _only_ ones breaking things.”

 “Had to learn somewhere,” Ace said blithely, making Marco snort.

 “So, we’ve been friends for a while,” Pudding said. “Mama’s okay with getting along with Shanks instead of fighting him. She likes alliances.”

 “Remember when she tried to get us engaged?” Ace snickered.

 “Wait, what?” Marco asked, his turning sharply as his eyes widened.

 “Yeah, that thing I told you about. The time Big Mom called Shanks trying for an alliance via marriage?” Ace asked. “That one.”

 Luffy hooted, “Shishishi, tell it, Ace, tell it! It’s so funny!”

 “Okay, okay,” Ace said. “Pudding, be your mom. I’ll be Shanks. Sabo, be Benn.”

 “Benn didn’t do anything,” Sabo said slowly.

 “Urgh, _wrong_ ; Luffy, be Benn,” Ace said. Luffy nodded firmly and schooled his face into an interested expression as Pudding made noises to mimic a Den-Den ringing.

 Ace mimicked picking up the receiver, “This is Shanks, who is it?”

 “Linlin,” Pudding replied in a deeper, slightly syrupy voice.

 “You’re doing the voice great,” Ace hissed before getting back in character. “Linlin? Um, hey. Haven’t seen any of your ships recently so…what’s this about?” He made a questioning gesture at Luffy who shrugged, indicating that Benn hadn’t had any idea either.

 “Well I was thinking…while it hasn’t happened recently maybe we need to do something about all that running into each other,” Pudding said. “Perhaps an alliance of sorts?”

 “Look if this about the thing at Pomegranate Cove, that was Mihawk’s fault, he did not wingman _properly_ and let me get way too drunk,” Ace said as Zoro laughed at the idea of Shanks blaming his father for something like that. “Seriously, we gave Smoothie like, double the fruit we wrecked for your fruity drinks parties or whatever you’re using them for.”

 “I said alliance, Red Hair,” Pudding said, her tone getting slightly testy. “Especially since your boys know some of my darling daughters.”

 “Yeah, they’re friends. I guess friends would like to be allies,” Ace mused innocently. Luffy facepalmed to show Benn’s reaction to Shanks’ thought process. The image of Luffy of all people making such a deadpan, exasperated gesture about someone else being obtuse made several members of the crew do double takes. Usopp looked moderately disturbed.

 “…So that’s where Straw Hat gets it? His Emperor Dad?” Drake asked Law. Law nodded, amused.

 “That or his grandpa,” the surgeon said.

 “I was thinking since Pudding gets along so well with the boy, maybe she and Ace could be…engaged. For an alliance,” Pudding said.

 Luffy snorted before getting back into character and looking shocked. Ace took a deep breath, “Linlin…you see the thing about Ace…he’s gay.”

 “I have sons,” Pudding said quickly and that set off both Luffy and Sabo in addition to some others in the crew. Some people ended up outright rolling on the deck laughing from the quick reply.

 “She…she really turned it around that fast?” Marco asked.

 “Yep. Started talking up a Mocha guy,” Ace said, dropping the act.

 “Moscato, actually,” Pudding said, back to her usual voice. “Oh, it was so uncomfortable in that room. And then Mama got all upset after Shanks hung up because I didn’t know you were gay.”

 “…We both thought that guy with the sailfish tattoos was hot,” Ace pointed out.

 “You could have been bi,” Pudding pointed out, crossing her arms and turning aside with a huff.

 “Nah, that’s Sabo’s job,” Ace said. He glanced at Marco, “Obviously this is all before I met you.”

 “Obviously,” Marco snickered.

 “Ooh, I remember when Sabo told me you found someone,” Pudding said, bouncing slightly. “Mama was _so_ mad when she found out! Especially that it was one of Whitebeard’s sons! _Ooh_ , she wanted to skin you _alive_.”

 “…Going by your mom I’m not sure if that’s figurative or literal,” Ace said.

 “Oh, wholly literal,” Pudding said, waving a hand. “Took it as an insult to her children.”

 “Pudding!” the jelly hissed.

 “Oh, come _on_ , Nitro,” Pudding said. “It’s fine. Like they don’t already know Mama can crack down, right boys?”

 “Yep,” Luffy said.

 “We had to hide in _East Blue_ one time while she and Shanks had a disagreement,” Sabo added.

 “Oof, that was the warehouse, right?” Pudding asked.

 “Yeah, but we met Usopp so it’s all good!” Luffy said.

 “Oh, well, if it all worked out, then great!” Pudding said.

.o.o.o.

 “I noticed after one last swat to calm your boyfriend down you left,” Law drawled as he slipped into the crow’s nest of the Thousand Sunny.

 Zoro grunted, “Someone needs to keep watch.” Besides, Sanji had gone inside to start cooking for the inevitable party, so there was no more need to keep him from doing weird heart-eyed stunts.

 Law hummed, “Agreed. What do you think about…Pudding?”

 “Her family needs a better naming scheme. Right up there with the shit-cook’s in weird,” Zoro said.

 “Oh, agreed,” Law said. “…Marco doesn’t trust her.”

 “He say as much?” Zoro asked.

 “He’s been eying her. Subtle, but there,” Law said.

 “Oh, because you’re so good with nonverbal cues,” Zoro countered. “ _You_ don’t trust her, I gather?”

 “The timing is…interesting,” Law said. “Big Mom only has to gain if Kaido falls, even she couldn’t defeat him, whereas if Kaido wins she loses potential troublemakers and her children may get a look at his Poneglyph in the chaos anyway.”

 “Ah. Right. Those,” Zoro said. “Think that’s Robin’s area.”

 “…We should keep it quiet just how well she can read them,” Law said.

 “Thought that would be obvious,” Zoro grunted. “…Getting this off your chest so you’re not an ass to her at dinner?”

 “I’m glad you get me,” Law chuckled.

.o.o.o.

 Koala did her best to not be too suspicious of Pudding as the party commenced. It was clear that she, Sabo, Ace, and Luffy _were_ old friends and she seemed to genuinely like them…but then liking someone and working against them weren’t exactly exclusive.

 Her plan made sense—Big Mom wanting some of her crew to take advantage of newcomers making trouble for Kaido to get a look at his Poneglyph was actually a really good idea and sending people the Straw Hearts were less likely to attack made it even better.

 Still…unless she was a lot worse at reading people than she thought she was, Koala was certain Pudding was subtly keeping attention on herself and Pekoms and away from Pan and Oven. Not to say no one was watching them—there were too many people around for Pan and Oven to slip away at all—but still…

 “Law, stop glaring at your beer,” she sighed. “If you don’t want to get drunk, get another drink.”

 Law glared at her, passing he beer to Chopper, who sniffed it, made a face, and passed it to Bepo. Bepo drank it.

  “I’m not a party person,” Law huffed.

 “No but you’re a Luffy person and he’s having fun,” she noted. Pudding and the brothers had been swapping stories for most of the party—Pudding seemed especially interested in Alabasta, both times—and Luffy seemed glad to see her.

 “You know he likes his friends,” Law said, noncommittal.

 “Yeah. We all agree the timing’s weird, right?” she asked.

 “I think you could get even Sabo to agree on that,” Law said. “Hell, Pudding sometimes reminds us her mom sent her specifically at this time because now’s when we’re gunning for Kaido.”

 “…You think she’s saying something?” Koala asked.

 “Zoro has reminded me that my nonverbal skills are shit, but yes,” Law said.

 “Hmm. I’ll handle that end, then,” Koala said. “Robin’s watching too. And you know how bad it is to cross Robin.”

 “I think I need to talk to Robin,” Law said, looking a little eager.

 “I’m worried that you’re so happy at potential vindication of someone else being dishonest,” Koala said.

 “My dad’s a spy, I should pick up on this eventually,” Law said.

 “And what about you?” Koala asked Chopper as Law walked off.

 “…Nitro’s creepy,” Chopper said. “And from what Pudding’s said of her mother, she must have a healing ability to recover from so many pregnancies. That is _not_ easy on the female body.”

 “…All right then,” Koala said. “How’s the beer, Bepo?”

 “Decent. I know Chopper doesn’t like this kind,” Bepo said.

 “Grab me a cup, will you?” Koala asked. “All this skullduggery is stressing me…what’s that?”

 “Oh no,” Usopp said, rushing past her to the railing and pulling out a spyglass, “What else today?…SEA KING!”

  Everyone stopped what they were doing to turn and look.

 “Huh, multiple heads,” Shachi noted idly as the monster rose about the waves. “Actually, that’s pretty cool.”

 “We can discuss the medical implications of multiple brains later!” Chopper flailed.

 “Luffy, Ace, one of you handle it!” Nami called.

 “ **Hey! Fuck off**!” Ace called.

 The Sea King turned its attention to the ship. Well, at least it seemed to have heard him.

 “Maybe it’s outside your range? It’s not too close yet,” Marco noted as Ace continued glaring at the Sea King.

 “ **I SAID GET FUCKING LOST**!” Ace yelled, louder this time.

 “ **WE ARE HAVING A NICE PARTY SO JUST GO AWAY**,” Luffy added sternly.

 The sea king slunk back, before disappearing beneath the waves entirely.

 “Jerk,” Luffy muttered. “Interrupting like that…”

 “Well…there’s half my crew out…shit,” Drake sighed as he went around to start rousing his subordinates.

 “That…was…great!” Pudding cheered, hugging Luffy.

 “It was something,” Nitro mused.

 “Shanks does stuff like that, right?” Pekoms asked Ace.

 “Yeah, and Rayliegh wouldn’t let us come to the New World until Lu and I could do it whenever,” Ace said.

 “You both have Concqueror’s Haki?” Oven asked. He’d caught Pan, who had stayed conscious but stumbled and gone a bit pale at the force of Luffy’s will.

 “What, is that not on the bounty posters yet? I’m sure that’s on the bounty posters…” Ace mused.

 “Eh, Marines make shit up all the time,” Oven said, shrugging before glancing at Pudding. “And you never mentioned it.”

 “Maybe I thought you’d read the bounty posters,” Pudding muttered under her breath. “Besides, they never had to use it around me anyway. Didn’t know how good it was.”

 “Pretty dang good,” Ace bragged. “Lu’s tougher than me, the little shit, but I’m not so shabby.”

 “He practically made Weevil piss himself,” Marco bragged.

 “Yeah, but Jack weathered it okay, so I have work to do,” Ace said.

 “Jack the Drought? So you _did_ beat him!” Pudding said, looking eager.

 “Well, with Dogstorm and Cat Viper, yeah,” Ace said, shrugging.

 “Do _not_ threaten Prince Momonosuke around Ace,” Kanjuro chuckled. “He is very protective.”

 “Aw, you lucky kid!” Pudding said, grinning at Momonosuke. He blushed, rubbing the back of his head.

 “He’s a good kid,” Ace said, shrugging.

 “You’re so like your dad,” Pudding laughed.

.o.o.o.

 “Well, I think we got some good information,” Oven said once they were safely back aboard their ship.

 “I’m still not sure we could do much if it came to a fight,” Pan dithered. “A lot of them are strong…and there’s only four of us. Five if we count Nitro.”

 “You think too much,” Pudding scoffed. “Luffy and his brothers are dumb, and everyone else will give us chances because of it. We’ll be long gone before anything goes wrong.”

 “So you say…” Pan said.

 “I say because I’m right,” Pudding said sharply. “I’ll get in, read the Poneglyph, and then we’ll ditch with tons of information on their crew for Mama. Easy as pie. You’re overthinking this.”

 “Your ‘friends’ may not be suspicious, but some of their crewmates are,” Nitro cautioned.

 “I’m with Pudding,” Pekoms said. “The Straw Hearts are friendly and welcoming by nature. As long as we play nice and don’t do anything stupid like attacking someone, this plan is smooth sailing.”

 “See? And Pekoms also knows the Minks better than you so suck it up,” Pudding said imperiously. “Honestly. You think I, Mama’s best actress, doesn’t know how to play a crowd? Really?”

 “That’s not what I said, Pudding,” Pan said quickly as Pudding hand drifted towards her knife. “Not at all!”

 “Good,” Pudding huffed. “This is an easy plan, so you’d better not fuck it up by acting all suspicious and shit. Four blues, you barely even _tried_ to socialize! I had to spend the whole party drawing attention away from you two! Why didn’t you follow Pekoms lead?”

 “Pekoms has a lead?” Oven asked dryly, glancing at their subordinate.

 “In socializing, yes. He knows the Minks, so listen to him!” Pudding snapped.

 “…All right, little sister. We’ll follow you two on this and be more…social,” Oven said, rolling his eyes.

 Pudding growled. Even if he’d have been more annoying to work around, Katakuri would have been so much better about this. Sure, he wasn’t social, but he’d figure out why she was saying ‘fake it.’

 Why Mama hadn’t let her bring Chiffon and the Firetanks she’d never know. This would have been so, so much easier.

 “I’m going to hit the hay,” Pekoms said, yawning. “Promised Lord Cat Viper to discuss what I know of the other Calmities early tomorrow.”

 “Good job,” Pudding said. “That’s the kind of thinking we need on this operation.”

 “Goodnight,” Pekoms said, tipping an imaginary hat to her.

 “You too, and good luck in the morning,” Pudding said. “Now take off, Nitro. I need a bath.”

 Nitro slunk away and Pudding sighed. It was hard to get rid of him sometimes, Mama’s “caretaker” for her little princess.

 Feh. Princess.

 She made sure not the slam the bathroom door behind her. So annoying, all this acting.

 Pudding sat on the edge of the tub as it filled. So far, so good. Her siblings and the slime bought it hook line and sinker. Pekoms could cover if she slipped, but she wouldn’t. Why would she? She did want to find the poneglyph and read it…and then tell Luffy just what it said.

 Hopefully after whatever they got up to with Kaido, Oven and Pan would be too tired to interfere. Hmm…she could go with a special infiltration team and leave them with the fighters. It would make more sense, they were more combat-based than she was, she was a sneaker…

 Yes, that would work. Maybe get a message out to the other crew that her siblings needed to be…restrained, post-battle. Somehow.

 Pretending to double cross your friends when you were really double crossing your mother was hard work, she decided as she sunk under the water.

 Well, it was kind of fun. Watching Oven and Pan and Nitro be so, so sure she was playing the Straw Hats and Hearts while she was really playing _them_ was a downright delight. Oh the looks on their faces when she finally stabbed the cold knife of reality in would be _priceless_.

 Maybe she’d let Pekoms get Oven a bit. She knew he didn’t like him. Hmm. _Could_ Pekoms get at Oven? He was more of a defensive fighter really, and Oven did bash through defenses easily by overheating them…

 She had time to plan it out. It would work in the end. She’d make it work in the end.

 For now, she could relax a bit. Every moment she had some fun with the “enemy” crew would be read as just her doing her job to get in their good graces, instead of having some real fun for once. Ace, Sabo, and Luffy were always good for fun. She liked that about them, always had. Ooh, she could even use what she’d learned from teasing Chiffon about Bege to tease the brothers about their loves! So much fun, and so little stress! How nice.

 She smiled as she traced some designs in the steamed-up tiles. Ace had been so cute about protecting that kid, Momonosuke. She guessed good parenting was contagious, or something. Mama had always been smart enough to not go for Shanks’ kids after all.

 Lucky kids. She’d have been a lot more jealous if they weren’t such nice weirdos. Heck, even their Emperor dad was nice, from the handful of times she’d met him. How was one of the four greatest terrors of the sea so…so _nice_? At least fucking Whitebeard had tried to keep something of an image up but Shanks? Just a weirdo who happened to be scary-strong.

  Speaking of scary-strong, Ace, Sabo, and Luffy had built quite the crew. They could maybe make Mama’s gang look boring…maybe. A fraidy-cat sniper, a weird ghost girl, a guy with three swords, a runaway princess…how did they get so many people with quirks? Heck, Luffy apparently got Drake on his side mid fight! What was that? To say nothing of allegedly seducing Law on the prison break…hm. Law.

 Law could be a problem, she thought as she got out of the tub and dried herself off. He was clearly suspicious of her and unlike Marco or Koala was clearly _not_ the chance-giving type. One small screw up around him and there was a good chance he’d pluck her third eye right out of her forehead and dissect it in front of her.

 On the other hand, Luffy kind of deserved someone like that looking out for him. Ace and Sabo were all well and good but someone as sweet as Luffy needed someone a little more _ruthless_ watching his back. From what she’d seen, Law would have absolutely no problem with ruthless if Luffy, or probably anyone else he cared about but _especially_ Luffy, was on the line.

 If this plan worked, maybe Pudding and Law could get along over that later. At the very least she had some anatomy questions for him…good torture spots and such…

 If this worked, which it better. Pekoms would work with her because it got him what he wanted—a victory for the Minks and out from under her mother. Oven and Pan were another story. Urgh. She’d wanted o come alone but _no_ Mama had wanted _security_. Please. Like Oven could beat Ace, much less Phoenix Marco. Pan was even weaker.

 As for Nitro…he’d be hard. Mama put a little of herself in the top Homies that served the family, including him. She’d have to wait until it could look like he got bumped off by accident, and not let anything on til then. No need to let Mama know.

 She began to brush her hair out.

 No, no need to let Mama know a thing. After all, it wasn’t like Mama _cared_ to know a thing unless it was to her own benefit. Woman only gave a damn if it helped her own self out, never mind the dozens of kids she’d popped out along the way.

 Never mind that if she hadn’t wanted a “freak” daughter with three eyes, she could have avoided banging a three-eyed man until he gave her one. Never mind Pudding never knowing anyone else with three eyes because Papas never stuck around, Mama’s orders, and not knowing about her own abilities until she could use them. Never mind Chiffon getting beat for having Lola’s face, or Moscato getting trampled just for being nice. Never mind the bullying, the hate, her own kids clawing their way over each other…

 She maybe slammed her hairbrush down a bit hard just thinking about it.

 No. No, no, never mind.

 Because Mama only minded when it bit Mama on her fat old ass. And if Pudding had her way, Mama wasn’t going to mind this until it was far too late. If she had to pretend she was going to backstab some of the only people she actually liked for the sake of the family she hated…well, sure she’d go along if her kin was dumb enough to believe that load!

 Pudding smiled as she wiped the steam off the mirror. Time was coming for her mama’s precious princess to crown herself a king.

 

**Author's Note:**

> And we have Pudding! With a complicated plot of her own!
> 
> Pudding is not really a good person in this series, at least she isn’t now and won’t be for a while. She’s still hugely fucked up from her childhood and is less helping the ASL bros because she likes them and more because it screws over her mom who she hates and incidentally helps some of the few people she doesn’t hate (tho with Pudding ‘doesn’t hate’ might as well be ‘likes’). Essentially, she’s the Token Evil Teammate that the team don’t know is evil, and the people who know she’s evil are also evil and think she’s being evil on their side when she’s really being evil on the heroes’ side.
> 
> If one of the few people she doesn’t hate gets hurt she may have a “how fucking dare you” moment and get stabby or shooty, but generally Pudding’s level of caring about other people tends to fall closer to the trope of ‘what is this thing you call friendship?’ since she doesn’t fully understand it or why it makes her feel good because she is a messed-up lady. And right now, no one can help her with being messed-up since the heroes don’t realize how messed up she is. ASL genuinely think she’s just well-adjusted despite her background. 
> 
> Sadly she underestimates what she's getting into...but that just means more comedy for us!


End file.
